The Couple Who CrossFits Together: How CrossFit Can Improve Your Marriage

By Kimberly Van Sickel | October 21, 2015
I know, I know, you probably have a number of ways to finish that headline. CrossFit couples are “sickeningly fit” (I wish), “boring” or maybe even “scary.” But like so many other misconceptions about CrossFit, I’m here to point out how shortsighted those assessments can be. You see, I’m a wife and mother who is no way a Games-level athlete and I am proud to be part of a CrossFit couple. I’m surrounded by other such couples on a regular basis and my experience is that being fit as a couple or a family has its advantages.

CrossFit couples find common ground.

If you’ve ever entered a CrossFit box, or even looked at the main CrossFit site, then you know it can seem like a foreign language. Acronyms are abound and what the heck is a sumo deadlift high-pull anyway? CrossFit is, I will admit, a bit of an “insiders” club. That is, until you walk through the doors and join the fun.

My husband and I have always enjoyed some level of fitness throughout our relationship. However, most of our fitness endeavors were separate. He liked to play soccer; I preferred to be a cardio queen at the gym. Aside from that one time when I talked him into training for a marathon together (no joke) and it almost killed him (no joke), we had pretty different fitness pursuits.

My husband found CrossFit first with co-workers who would program and do WODs together. When our mutual friend and trainer decided to open a CrossFit box and my beloved boot camp class was coming to an end, I agreed to try CrossFit as a means to stay in shape until I found a more (ahem) suitable option to stay in shape as a mom in her 30s.

But what I discovered was that doing CrossFit together – even if we were not physically attending the same class at the same time – gave my husband and I some common ground. Suddenly discussions about the day included comparing notes about the WOD. My husband was elated to hear about my new PRs and we literally could feel each others’ pain in recounting particularly grueling workouts. With two careers, two kids and so many outside interests, it was really nice (if unexpected) to discover that CrossFit was something we could share.

Now we regularly throw terms like ‘snatch’ and ‘wall balls’ around during G-rated family conversations at the dinner table.

CrossFit couples make healthy changes.

Like so many other athletes on the CrossFit journey, working out eventually morphed into much more. We were enjoying our success in the gym and we were beginning to recognize the importance of good nutrition as a key element in making gains. It started slowly, but we began to have discussions about how we were fueling our bodies and how the food we ate was impacting our performance in WODs.

If my husband or I were on this journey alone, it would have been hard to really impact change in our diet. For starters I do most — okay all — of the cooking. At the risk of sounding like an unsupportive wife, I wouldn’t have taken kindly to making dietary adjustments just because my husband wanted to. I’m just a little stubborn like that. But when we both decided to participate in a 30-day Paleo challenge at the box, it was suddenly a joint effort.

And now even years later, we try to be mostly Paleo, most of the time. We help keep each other accountable. When we feel ourselves slipping, it is always easier to course correct as a unit – whether meal planning for home or making smarter choices when eating out. The added benefit that comes from our shared experience is that our kids witness the support and the example we’re setting.

CrossFit couples participate as part of a community…together.

CrossFit is community on many different levels. While this article is about CrossFit as a couple, I have also enjoyed connecting with other moms, other 40-somethings, and yes, other couples through CrossFit. Our box, CrossFit Williamsburg, is owned by a couple. Many of the coaches and members are couples. As a community, we’ve celebrated engagements and weddings. We’ve also welcomed new babies…because couples who CrossFit together, well you know!

CrossFit couples have the ultimate support system.

Life is never linear, and making fitness a priority is not always easy when you juggle career changes, busy family schedules and my least favorite chore — laundry. The to-do list only gets longer, but my husband and I both recognize the sanity that comes from regular exercise, even when that seems like the easiest task to eliminate.

We try to coordinate our schedules to allow time for fitness. That often involves a tag-team approach, but we cherish the opportunities to participate in a WOD together whenever we can. We’re even crazy enough to find a CrossFit box when we’re on vacation to experience something new together. And yes, we buy a commemorative t-shirt and take photos to mark the occasion.

In my experience, the key to success in CrossFit is similar to success as a couple, whether you do CrossFit or otherwise: hard work, dedication, willingness to learn, patience, humility, teamwork, support and respect.

 

 

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